Life 2.0

How to break out of prison -- part 1

  

      All prisons are mental prisons

      they all lock from the inside

      and it is we who hold the key 

 

 

As a reformed addict and friend of Amy Winehouse, Russell Brand has an insightful take on her addiction:  "All addicts, regardless of the substance or their social status share a consistent and obvious symptom; they're not quite present when you talk to them.  They communicate to you through a barely discernible but un-ignorable veil.… they have about them the air of elsewhere, that they're looking through you to somewhere else they'd rather be.  And of course they are. The priority of any addict is to anaesthetise the pain of living to ease the passage of the day with some purchased relief."

The sad thing is, people like Amy already have had a taste of what it is to walk that rainbow of creating that 'somewhere else they'd rather be'.  They already know how to feel what they want to create, and then to trust and follow that feeling... and by expressing it, know that expression as their own expression of love.  In other words, to be it. 

And of course, you no longer have to go looking for love when that is the place you are coming from. 

The problem is, caught up in the momentum of old insecurities, we miss the simplicity and significance of this.  And then we pass-off the joy we once created to 'chance'.  As Churchill once put it, "Once in a while we stumble upon the truth, but most of us manage to pick ourselves up and hurry along as if nothing had happened."

The thing that struck me as I read Russell's tribute to Amy is that, to a lessor or greater extent, we all do this.  Each of us has our own pet distractions that keeps us from being fully present and feeling totally alive in the moment.  'Trying to understand someone' and 'getting engrossed in the task at hand' have been two of mine. 

We all have the inner knowing of how to get back to that natural state of pure joy and resourcefulness, regardless of initial conditions… but those insights are like whispers in our mind. They’re always there, but they get drowned by the noise of our thoughts, particularly those thoughts that subliminally direct our attention and tell us what we think we want.  We don't listen to the whispers because 'thinking' has mistakenly become synonymous with knowing, even though it's fairly obvious that it's 'thinking' that generates all the doubts and fears. 

Knowing really exists through a state of feeling.  To confirm this recall a day, or perhaps just an hour or so, when you were really happy (perhaps ultra  productive and creative too), where there was no friction between you and anyone around you, no rough edges of resistance around anything taking place, no doubt or fear in your mind, where everything seemed to flow just perfectly.  Maybe you have to go back a little way to remember this.  Perhaps it takes a little while to recall, but we have all experienced this.  Take a moment or two to recapture and savour that.

Now, was this a time when you were thinking?  No, you were in a state of feeling, because when we are in a state of feeling we are most closely aligned with our natural state of Being -- open to the flow of energy, insight and love -- the life force we are all immersed in.  Experience will always confirm that simply 'Being' is the most fulfilling and resourceful of states. 

What's more, from the standpoint of Beingness, it's seen that it's not our efforts, but the light of our awareness here, that resolves our issues and shines the darkness away.  And ultimately it's also from here, in building confidence in our ability to create the experiences we do want, that we disavow the limiting belief so many of us carry -- that we are victims of the circumstances that we don't want.

Reason tells us that to 'simply be' must be, by definition, effortless.  So how is it then that it appears so complicated and difficult to achieve?  Why is flow^[1] and fulfilment such a rare and fragile commodity?  And why do we, in spite of the best efforts of so many experts, find it so difficult to reach out and help people like Amy Winehouse (and  the many others in our hospitals, prisons and schools) that are so clearly struggling?

These are the questions I'll be exploring in this series of posts.  In the next part I'll look at the nature of our resistance to letting our own light shine.  The purpose being to shine a light on a simpler, more effective way of overcoming that resistance.

Footnote:

[1].. I'm not talking here about the state that is often referred to as flow, which is conditional, where we are encouraged to remove distractions or otherwise engineer circumstances that are conducive to a productive or peaceful state.  Rather, I'm referring to the overwhelming sense of wellbeing  and resourcefulness that flows from us, and embraces any circumstance.

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Only an Artist knows Free Will

We are all aware of the drive to do things that will be seen by others as valuable, things that make us feel good about ourselves and things that give us a sense of being alive.  What we not so aware of, is that as we unwrap this drive, underneath it there is fear.  Just below the veneer of positivity is a need for self validation.  Go a little deeper and we find a fear of loneliness - of not being recognised as worthwhile.  Go deeper still and you discover that the engine that drives this fear is a sense of separateness [1].  It is this fearful basis that sets both the context and scope for our creativity and experiences.  

But here's the thing:  What keeps us stuck, what makes creativity appears to take discipline and effort,  and what makes change seem so difficult and take time [2], is nothing more than a misunderstanding about free will.

If we are unaware of the fearful back story to our motivation, we assume that by making choices we are choosing what we want.  However, it takes just a few moments of honest self reflection to see that we are not even  making choices.  Isn't it our mind that is telling us  what to want and think and do?   It is this hidden dark agenda that is getting played out in our life, one judgement [3] and decision at a time.  This isn't free will, it is bondage.

Slumber

And so we sleep in a fog of dis-ease, but because we are 'making choices' we believe we are exercising free will, and therefore must be awake.... and if we are awake, the brokenness and struggle we see everywhere must be real.  It is this inability to see our own blindness that keeps us in the dark.

In confusing 'making choices' with Free Will we ‘see’ what this aspect of mind (call it ego) directs us to perceive.  This is our world now, and there appears no alternative.  

Instead of our mind being a tool we use (like any other human faculty) it now assumes the role of C.E.O. of our life, and the intellect (now attributed with wisdom) becomes the straw God to which we all bow.  But the mind has now taken on an autonomy that it is not cut out to handle.  Crippled with the burden of having to first define who we are, and then run our life trying to uphold and protect this sickly self-perception, it can never rest.  This is suffering.

And so it is that, as adults, we so rarely do things solely for the joy of Self expression.  And when we do, it is with this dark backdrop and in measured doses, because the mind (now running the show) protests that it is too risky, too irresponsible, too impractical to even consider as a way of living.  All bullshit!

Free Will

This choice, between what mind serves - Joy or fear, is Free Will.  Change our mind and all our thoughts change with it, as does the purpose of everything we see.  It is us that provides the meaning to our experience of life.

But for the brave ones who do exercise Free Will, whatever they touch with that ends up being imbued with a sense of beauty and timelessness that can quite literally stop us in our tracks as it touches the same still place within us, from where it came.  Whether it is the appearance of David , mellifluous words that speak the truth, a piece of computer code that makes something difficult elegantly simple, or just the willingness to drop pretences and meet someone in the space we normally hold between us, this is the power and gift of true art.

Let's take a look at motivation again, because there's still one last step in that unpacking process.  If I now look directly at the sense of separation to see what stands between us, I find nothing there.  It was only a mistaken thought in my own mind that made it seem real.  And in seeing that it never was true, the whole basis for our experience of  struggle collapses.... just as it is impossible to believe any lie once we see it for what it is.

In the truest sense, this is what we all want -- to see, and be seen, as we truly Are -- to recognise that we can choose to come from a place of Joy instead of fear, and in doing so choose the nature of our own experiences -- to know that we can heal and be healed. 

Waking

So when you get to the core of motivation it gets really simple.  In spite of the appearance of many, there are only two things happening -- Clarity is being called for or it is being expressed.  And even this is an over complication because in both cases we are coming from same place -- one Will.  No need then to peel any metaphoric onion, or figure anyone out in order to resolve issues.  Cut straight to the core instead, holding the openness to meet in the middle space…. trusting that in the clarity that this seeing brings, everything else falls into place.

Isn't this the choice for Free Will?  Reason tells us it can only be when we come from a place of openness instead of fear, that we are able to respond in a truly helpful way… and only by choosing to look past what seems to stand between us that we get to see what is real.  Perhaps this is what Gandhi meant when he suggested becoming the change we want to see in the world.

It is easy to overlook our fundamental choice when we see economic, environmental and political collapse, particularly when we see it getting personal.  But if you look at things from the perspective of our own growth, then we must recognise that we cannot benefit from anything we have pre-judged and rejected.  So rather than be crushed by circumstance, or be angry about it, or try to make it into what we think it should be, perhaps we could allow these experiences to break our shell of self-centred defensiveness that we withdrawn into, and that keeps us feeling powerless. 

As Jimi Hendrix said, "The real malady is fear of life, not of death".  The caterpillar and the butterfly look on the same cataclysmic event, but from totally different perspectives.  Doesn't point-of-view depend entirely on which side of the fence we choose to stand on?

The Artist

I'll close with a prediction:   It will be the artist... not the scientist, or the intellectual or the leaders-of-old... who will step forward and show the way in the times ahead.  Carefully crafted plans will be no use to us  (we'll come to see these for what they are -- sedatives, lulling us into deeper sleep by removing the need to trust our Self in the moment).   But a picture or a poem can bring us to stillness and point us towards our own blindness.  Only an artist has the ability to dis-illusion us, nudging us back onto our own path, into Self trust. 

Then, in our own unique way, we become artists too.
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Credits:  Michael Leunig  for the cartoon. Michael is a fine exemplar of the power of the artist to wake us from our slumber.  

Footnotes:

[1]... We tend to see mind as an object, and seeing it that way (having form) we can imagine it confined within the 1.5 litre cavity of a human skull.  Form here it is a tiny step to seeing our body as our self, instead of a tool for communication and a vehicle of Self expression.  And so in believing this, we take the bodies limits to be our own.  With this self-image in place it now appears that life itself is divisible --  'I' have my own little temporary part it, separate from 'the rest', which I see through the bodies eyes as 'outside' of me.

[2]... The belief in 'evolution by degrees' - that change takes time and effort, is the ego's second greatest achievement. (its supreme accomplishment is getting us to believe that it is us!)

To get an idea of how entrenched and pervasive this belief is, think of the whole self improvement industry, and what our mentors taught us about the need for discipline and effort, and the general acceptance of the '10,0000 hours of practiced required to be genius' meme.  Of course, if we use empirical evidence as the test of truth then there is no doubt that all these are true.... in our experience!  However, what empirical evidence doesn't consider is the possibility that the whole nature of our experience could itself be a choice.

[3]... Perception is projection [4], and it is also very selective.  The mind rarely comes to rest in open awareness [5].  Instead, it works constantly to pick out a tiny subset of our environment and presents it before us as reality.  Judgement and perception work together to give us the illusion we are using reason and acting rationally.  Perception cherry picks from awareness whatever evidence it needs to justify a judgement the mind then uses to uphold any decision that supports its dark agenda.  Phew!! -- I'll attempt to make this much clearer in an upcoming post.

[4]...Oh please no! Not footnotes of a footnote ;-(
... by projecting the cause of our angst as lying outside ourselves, we avoid the scary thing -- having nowhere to 'put' our feelings.  By seeing ourselves an 'innocent victims' of a capricious world, we avoid taking responsibility for what we feel and project, but at the cost of experiencing ourselves as powerless over what is now seen as outside our Self. 

We firm up this picture of an 'innocent me' by the stories we tell each other (ideas can only get stronger as they are shared).  So telling victim stories is a form of Self-veiling.  It is helplessness masquerading as helpfulness.  By extrapolating the problems of the past into a picture of a fearful future, we completely paper over the present -- the only place where choice (and therefore change) can take place.  Paradoxically, doing this guarantees that our own future experiences unfold in much the same vein as the past.

When you think about it, the idea behind projection -- that I am under the influence of a power or will that exists outside of me (whether we call it Quantum Mechanics, Nature, Gaia, God or something else), is the definition of dogma.

[5]... the idea that stilling our mind and 'being present' is difficult, is another lie of the mind.  It takes constant effort for our mind to avoid  being present.  Our mind works every minute of every day to avoid an experience of complete openness in the present, because if it did, this illusion of 'perception as reality' would be seen for what it is, and the ego's fearful hidden agenda would be exposed.  Even in sleep it has to be constantly vigilant.  It will jolt you awake in the middle of the night rather than let you become 'conscious' in your sleep.

All this 'Presence avoidance' activity is incredibly stressful and tiring, but it is so commonplace, so a part of the everyday fabric of what we call living, that we accept it as normal.  It is only when we collapse under the weight of this stress that society give the particular form of breakdown a label, and pours resources into the study of its 'causes'. 

And even when we start to see the ego's mind games for what they are, it doesn't let go. The poacher turns gamekeeper to avoid detection.  The principle behind a  'practice' or 'spiritual journey' or 'seeking further understanding' is again this idea that change takes times and effort, a tactic to avoid turning to our Self in this moment and having done.  As Chuck Palahnniuk puts it..."It's because we are so trapped in our culture, in the being of being human on this planet with the brains we have, and the same two arms and legs that everybody else has.  We're so trapped that any way we could imagine to escape would be just another part of the trap. Anything we want, we're trained to want."

Basically, the ego will do anything to avoid us becoming aware of the fact that allowing our mind to serve the ego's fear based agenda is a decision.... and so at any moment we could simply choose to drop the latest idea about what is still needed, and turn our attention to our Self instead, trusting that it knows its own way into our conscious awareness.

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A Return to Wisdom

There's something refreshing about feeling free to speak the truth as we see it, don’t you think? 

The French have a word for this - 'témoignage', which means being willing to speak openly about what we see in front of us.  As far as I'm aware, there's no English equivalent. The universities in Ancient Greece were very much into this.  If you'd discovered something cool you could just come and tell.  It wasn't so much about recognition or status, as sharing.

But there's another, perhaps less obvious, benefit in being present and open.  We discover a natural wisdom and ability to respond perfectly to whatever arises.  Almost childlike, we sense, feel and act without any of the judgments or friction that accumulate as we grow up.

This inner knowing doesn't announce itself or insist.  The mind doesn't know, 'Is this the right way?',  'Is this what is best?',  'Is this what I want to do?'  That's mind stuff.  But when we accept the fact that intellect can never really know, we become aware of this feeling -- an inner movement... and where it leans, we can go.  But when our mind asks, 'do I know this is the right way?' the answer is always no.  In fact, 'not knowing' is the way... a way that brings with it an incredible freedom and peace of mind from letting go of the burden of ever needing to know again.

This is wisdom.  And yet it doesn't come as a formula, you can't learn about from or set of bullet points, you don't gain it from experience and it's not something that some old guru can pass on to us at a retreat.  It's something that pre-exists and is wholly formed in all of us.  It is something we've had all along, closer than our next breath.  We've just been too busy preening our self image, defending against an imagined past or planning for a better future, to notice.

There's absolutely nothing needed to start having this inner wisdom move us right now -- by stepping back and instead of moving, allowing ourselves to be moved instead.  And if our mind asks, 'Is this the right feeling?' there will be no answer.  Our mind never knows.. but inside we do, because as we move the right way we feel a congruity and peace.  This is direct knowing.  Anticipation, or any other thought process, plays no part at all in this.

And as we do, what arises on the 'inside' and what appears as 'outside' start to move in harmony as the distinction we have made between the two begins to fade.  What we begin to see reflects the peace and harmony of our true nature as opposed to conflicts and confusion in mind. 

It seems that the movement of life is always towards this.  One way or another life finds a way to prise our fingers away from clinging to littleness, which is what we do when we try to control our little corner of the Universe.  There is no joy in clinging.  Our safety, our happiness and our influence lie in the flow of Life itself.  It is this same inner wisdom that flows through us and moves us when we let it.  We are not apart from it all.  It is no coincidence that when people recall the moments of real flow in their life, they report everything working to perfection, with what's needed arriving at exactly the right moment and doors opening where previously there were no doors at all.

But nevertheless, before we commit to live true to this inner truth in us -- in Flow, the question comes, 'How could we possibly let go of conscious control of our lives?' and perhaps also, 'How would we organise a team or build any successful enterprise without our time tested control strategies?'

To let go of our need to control seems crazy, doesn't it?  Wouldn't chaos reign?

The opposite of Control...

is not Chaos…

..it is Closeness

When we let go of our need to control we are free to receive others just as they are.

When we are connected information  flows  freely.  Without resistance everything  flows  perfectly.

Do you see the irony?  Controls act as resistance... and it resistance that causes the problems that we seek to control!

When you think about it, using plans to managing anything is wishful thinking at best.  Who in their right mind could possibly say they could predict all that was to happen and know the effect of their decision on everyone that may happen to be affected?

A future focused, control/goal orientation is a sorry substitute for the clarity, the wisdom and joy of being free to let our attention be openly present and respond 'as we feel' to what is here in front of us.  In an open, self-aware environment the gap between us disappears and we all become wise.  We become too close for answers not to flow to where they are needed and too connected for our influence not to flow everywhere. 

By allowing ourselves to come together in present trust -- to Flow, opens up our awareness.  In that awareness if there are plans needed they become obvious, without the need to plan.  And if there's any doubts, we can ask each other:  'What is it right now that appears to stand before us as an obstacle?'  An open question with a present focus is never left unanswered.  In our willingness to come together and fully experience whatever appears to stand in our way, insight reveals both it's nature and it's cause, and in seeing this it is done.  This is wisdom.

As the challenges of our world appear more complex and daunting there's an inexorable push towards better education, more sophisticated management techniques, more 'intelligent' control systems, more commitment to goals and best practices.  But one thing we never do is question the nature of the complexity we are attempting to respond to.  Why should it all be so difficult?  We take as given that the world is a complex place and yet the great discoveries in science and other disciplines, are invariably beautiful in their simplicity.  Once discovered they seem too obvious, and make everyone appear foolish for not having discovered them before.  As Einstein said, "If you can't explain it simply you don't understand it well enough.”

But deep down we already know this.  When we recognise something as true it doesn't come to us via a thought process, but as an experiential one -- we feel it as a sudden 'AHA'.  And then, surprised at the simplicity of it, we are amazed that it was never known before.  We've all experienced this, usually whilst engaged in an activity that involves 'feeling' as opposed to thinking -- such as shaving or putting on our make-up, or both!

Just take a moment to consider what a strange idea it is that the nature of reality should be hard to see!  And yet the 'greatest minds' among us struggle with this.  You would imagine that to simply see the nature of 'what is' would be, by definition, ease itself.  If reality appears complex, with struggle being the norm, doesn't that suggest that the lens through which we see it might actually be causing the distortion?

By leaving the appearance of complexity unexamined, the connection between the 'way we see' and 'what we see' goes overlooked... and then the world of science and academia are left attempting to see things not as they are,  but as a pathologists would -- by looking at each part and trying to figure out its relationship to the rest.  But this body is already dead… by taking ourselves out of the picture there is no Life left to see and understand.  

This is not wisdom, it is madness.  It leaves us having to derive a multitude of rules, driven by our most pressing problems, to operate in a complex and precarious world based on our latest 'understanding'... and expecting scientific or philosophical answers to our problems, where in fact the answers are so simple and self-evident.  And yet it never occurs to us once to question the way we look.  Reason surely tells us that the starting point of any investigation ought to be to know our own relationship with the world. 

Whereas, deep down, we know the simple answers, we're brought up to believe it must be more complicated than it is.  Our mind rejects as too naive, the notion that the answers could lie in simply choosing to be open to fully experience what is here in front of us and allow our own inner guidance to show us what is true and how to flow with that. 

All it takes is a little courage... and 'courage' only because it flies in the face of all our societal conditioning.  We have learned to prize 'good' judgment and be wary of being open; and we have been brought up to be ashamed of ignorance and to accumulate knowledge.  But what's called for here is the exact opposite -- to embrace 'not knowing'. 

There's an inexplicably beauty in allowing ourselves to be guided, because as we step back the light in us steps forward and encompasses the world.

This requires no reasoning, no calculation, no learning, no practice or discussion... no thinking or activity of any kind.  Just a radical honesty -- a willingness to live in non-resistance to what is here in each moment and be true to truth as it appears to us, instead of what we believe it to be.  Témoignage, in fact.
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Footnote:  This post is an adaptation of an article I’ve written by way of introduction to a talk I’m giving in a couple of weeks at the Summer School for the Welsh Government.  All being well, as part of this talk we’ll take a deep dive into seeing and understanding this connection between ‘the way we see' and 'what we see'.  The idea behind this is that with awareness comes choice, and with choice freedom. :)
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Seeing Brilliance

Three little sound bites came my way this week, that spoke on the same theme… as they so often do!  So I followed them to see where they led.

The first I discovered by following a link to  Jack Kerouac's 30 Cool tips:  'Belief and Technique for Modern Prose, a list of thirty 'essentials'', from a  tweet by Evelyn Rodriguez.  No 29 on the list was:  'You're a Genius all the time'. 

The second was an Emerson quote from Evelyn again,  "We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents"

And the third came from  a short movie  on the Art of Hosting,  'Seeing Brilliance' posted by  Chris Corrigan: "...this is not the time to live in fear any more of who we are or how powerful we are."

Try watching the film and tell me you still feel miserable. :)  Just lately I find it impossible to witness anyone who declares their willingness to accept their own power and not hear a resounding 'YES' inside of me.  It really is easy to get transfixed, like a rabbits staring into headlights, by stories of the fall of empires and the end of civilisation as we know it, and forget that choice and power always lie within us.  We are never a victim unless we continue to believe we are.

So let's look at this.

'You're a Genius all the time'.  Yes!.. that has been my experience too.  Flow is not something to attain  it is who we Are... and yet the self-help / new-age sections are filled with titles on how achieve this... subliminally reinforcing the idea that we are  somehow broken.

But if this is true, why is this not our everyday experience? 

When we look at what actually goes on in our mind it's not such a great mystery:

Our mind is predicated towards the future.  It works ceaselessly to set up control of future events because it’s in doing this that we believe our safety and well-being lies.  In this future orientation we completely overlook the present, because we believe that past events and beliefs have taught us enough to direct our future course.  And if things work out as we wish, then we feel (temporarily) happy.  If they don't, we either get upset or more resolve to make greater effort to get what we want.  The the only two possible outcomes are some level of stress, or a faux happiness (read ‘temporary relief from stress’).

Do you see the problem with attempting to control the future based on past experiences and beliefs?  We are creating the future in the likeness of the past.  By planning for change we guarantee that substantive change doesn’t happen!

The mind that plans is refusing to allow for change because its past experience directs its choice of what will happen, the basis for its future goals.  It never gets the opportunity to see that here and now is everything needed to guarantee a future totally different from the past, and be free of this perpetual recycling of past fears and limiting beliefs.

'Planning' is so normal to us that we never stop to consider whether it is natural.  Our natural state is not as slave to an imagined future but one of open, receptive awareness.  With a present orientation we become aware of awareness itself, and discover there this flow of well-being that is our Self.  By letting present trust replace planning… communion,  learning, transformation and right action take place effortlessly without any conscious control.  If there we are plans to be made they become known to us, but planning plays no part in this.  Anticipation is not necessary when our Self leads the way.

But it takes courage to let go of the familiar and step into the unknown.  It seems a far easier choice to cower from the winter’s cold and keep struggling on like all the rest.  But turn our face towards the coming summer sun and that fear soon disappears in the discovery of what it is that joins us. 

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly"... Richard Bach

Related article:  So you want to be a genis, huh?
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R.I.P. Andrew Wyeth

"I think it's about Love. Sounds sentimental as hell but I really believe it is." 

...[at 4:40 in the video ]

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A Holy Communion

Have you every considered why we experience life so differently?

Some 'thing' exists for us when we draw a line around it in our mind.  By carving out a boundary everything on the inside becomes 'that' and everything on the outside 'not that'.

But these distinctions are not made at random.  There can be no distinction without motive, and there can be no motive unless contents are seen to differ in value.  For example, when we look at something as a problem we draw a distinction around something of a lesser value to us.  Similarly, when we set a goal we cleave a space in mind that we believe has greater value.

Sensation:  You notice a colourful blob.   Perception:  You recognise a car.   Cognition:  It is your car.   Judgement:  It is your car and some bastard is driving away with it.

Our intentions determine our experiences because our intentions determine what distinctions we make.  So... what we think  we see is reality, but what we really  see is what we want to see.  Perception is projection, not fact.

And so, living in these our 'private worlds', communication has come to be a mediation between the different meanings that we've attached to things.  

But there is another way of communicating that I touched on in the last post.  It is possible to speak from an on open, choiceless space, and allow truth to inform our words.  And when we do, the words we speak draw us away from the complex world of perceptions into the realm of Reality itself.

Communication takes place in the world of form -- between physically 'detached entities', differentiated as we first described.  And so, in some way or another, all forms of communication can be sensed and explained on the physical level.  For example, a sound or wireless wave can be detected by a receptor and then decoded into a form that is recognisably. 

But the thing is, without at least some level of communion between those that are communicating, there can be no real communication at all... because what reaches the other end doesn't get understood.  You can see this in a gang of youths -- one syllable can express what it would take a whole book for an outsider to comprehend.  The same in a tight knit workgroup too. 

Communication is secondary to communion.  In fact, there appears to be a fundamental law at work here:  The greater the communion between us, the less the need for physical communication and the more that gets communicated. 

Conversation begins before it starts, continues after it ends and doesn't always involve words.”... Christie Diamond  [via Chris Corrigan ]

Communion takes place in this Presence of awareness in which all form appears, and is time and space agnostic.  Have you noticed how it's possible to have as close a rapport with a writer or commenter of a blog post written in a different time-space than the guy sat next to us on the bus?

And this isn't just a human phenomena.  As a kid, it fascinated me how a flock of birds could fly every year in perfect formation, over thousand of miles, to some unseen destination with no apparent means of communicating.  I felt the same way again when I learnt to dive, and witnessed a shoal of hundreds of fish change direction in the same instant and in perfect unison.

The natural world doesn't so much communicate as commune. 

Those of us with pets have surely noticed this.  A ‘meouw’ could mean a thousand things but when my cat 'meouws' I know exactly what it means.  If I can't be bothered to get up and give it the fish or open the door or pet it.... by pretending I don't know what this  ‘meouw’ means, then it knows I'm being awkward and makes damn well sure that I know that it knows too. ;)

As far as I can tell, we all have this ability to commune in equal measure.  It seems stunted only by our need to exercise some measure of control.  From Wikipedia: “Control is the attempt to impose excessive predictability and direction on others and events, often associated with lack of trust and insecurity.”  Sounds true enough, but lack of trust and insecurity are symptoms, not primary causes.  Fear is at the root of it.

But as we discussed earlier, what we fear is not reality but the reflection of our own imaginings... and so there's a way to undo that.

The more open we are, the more we understand.
The more we understand, the less we fear.
The less we fear, the more we are aware of our shared Presence
… because fear, in all it's many forms, is just the veil within our mind that blocks this awareness.

In 'How to Save the World'  we looked at how fear is never justified because we always have the ability, in any situation, to choose to look beyond perception to see what's real -- to choose Peace instead.  But this cannot be known on our own, because the idea of  'alone'  is the very denial of Peace. 

As described at the start of this post, the distinction I make called 'me' only appears real to the extent that I separate it from everything on the 'outside' of it's imagined boundary.  Our Self doesn't stop at the bodies limits and does not have the body’s limitations.  Our/Life's/Love's purpose is to know this -- to heal our unfounded sense of separation and resulting fear.

To commune with anyone is to let this idea of separateness go and prove, beyond any of shadow of doubt, that what is real is forever untouched by any of our dark imaginings.
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Related article:  Blogging's Hidden Jewel

Credits:  The still life painting is called 'Eucharist' by Chris Peters.

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How to Save the World

As we approach Christmas I get a sense that the dial on the world marked 'fear' has somehow got turned up a notch or two this last year or so.  This post is my small way of adding a little counterbalance, a message of hope, to all that dour noise out there.

Harry Potter is one boy in a long line of mythical heroes who have reminded the human race that we are so much more than we think we are, so much more powerful than we seem to know.  Jesus said that we would someday do even greater works than He;  should we not take Him at His word?  And should not 'someday' be today?".... Marianne Williamson

The line drawn between which heroes are mythical and which are real can get a little blurry, but debate this and we miss the whole point.  Whether it's Yoda teaching Luke,  Donald Shimoda's  encounter with a disillusioned writer, or a chance conversation with a wise friend, the message from their stories is always the same:  It is you we are talking to -- there is nothing special about these powers, they are yours.

But where do you go with this if you have no reference point, no burning-bush experience in your life to guide you?  Imagination is useless here, because the thinking mind cannot go beyond itself.  Tatiana (in a comment to this post) expresses this question so well:

Many people reach the point of internalising some lessons that are extremely beneficial -- a healthy dissociation from the ego, so that you stop taking traffic jams personally or lose the zeal to fight with your spouse;  a few minutes of meditation per day;  a habit of reaching out to be fully present in the here and now several times a day.  Some deep breaths when you remember, a bit of mindfulness when walking or doing chores.

All of these things are wonderful at anchoring you here and diminishing the incessant thinking, churning, neurosis that is such a part of our daily life.  However, reading the same books, listening to the same teachers also points to an experience that started it all -- a flash of understanding, a moment when it all made sense or felt okay to make no sense.  For some it was transcendent and full of joy, for others quiet and deep.  Some kept the joy forever, others had to find their way back to it.  Some reach it in prison or in desperation, others driving a car or sitting on a hill.

But what if you're one of those people that has never had a moment like that?"

The thing about experiences is this:  They all change, even the most beautiful and profound ones.  So even if it was possible to find an experience that truly satisfied, we'd still be anxious the day that it was gone. 

For most of us, experience is God -- we spend our days moving away from those we dislike, and towards those we do.  But when we move away from or towards anything, we completely miss what's already here -- we trample on this flower of Beingness that is always present[1] -- we are no longer Self aware.  So freedom from anxiety lies in the opposite direction -- turning away from experience as a source of satisfaction, to discover what doesn't change -- this Presence of awareness in which all experiences appear and disappear in -- our Self.

So maybe past experience doesn't matter at all.  What if we were already capable of choosing Peace in any situation or circumstance?

The only time that any change takes place is in this moment[2], and what we are talking about here is simply the recognition of what is really here, right now -- the pure joy, peace and love that emanates quite naturally from our Self.  So what has this got to do with anything in our past?  There are no dragons to slay, no ego to kill, no practice needed of any kind.  It is simply a choice of what we give our attention to.  Choosing Peace is both the antithesis and antidote to the ego's debilitating belief that 'enlightenment' is a journey.

But what makes something so simple and natural appear to be obscure and remote, is that we don't believe we can do that.  And we don't believe it's possible because we look to our past experience as evidence for it working. 

But of course there is little or no evidence of it working there... because it is the choice to be free of our experiences and discover what is fresh, alive and radiant in this moment... untouched by anything in our past.

It is the choice to engage with the world from the opposite orientation to the one we are used to.  It's an orientation of openness (from Love) instead of control (from fear).  And although it requires us to do nothing, 'do nothing' means letting go of our old fear-based tools of control -- judgment, planning and defence.  Love has it's own agenda, which means I must let go of mine.  And let's face it, for most of us, letting go of the moment-to-moment control of our life is something we've never seriously considered before.

So lets review this new orientation:

• Openness... a willingness to show up naked, to 'not know'
  
  When we defend against anything we don't see it as is, but how we fear it to be.  But the fear is always our own -- to be fearful of anything we must first have judged ourselves as weak and vulnerable.  So what we 'see' (and therefore believe is real) is not reality, but the reflection of our own self-belief.  Can you get a sense that when we judge anything it is really a judgement on our self?
  
  Truth cannot be defined in terms of what is right and what is wrong because right and wrong are man made concepts.  It's in allowing ourselves to open up to our whole mind that we get to see the whole picture.  We start to see it in the pure thought and feeling we have when we reach out to each other, and in the presence of joy that releases us from a fearful concept of a separate, vulnerable self.
  
  To show up naked -- to be willing to know nothing, is to create a space that allows the truth in everything to shine true.  It's in this openness that we start to see that there is nothing separate from us and therefore nothing to fear.  The world changes as we recognise that behind our angst, there is nothing about us that is not constituted wholly of Love.  Change the inner script and the outer play must follow.  It can do no other, because in reality (seen without the veil of our fearful self-perception), it is all One.
  
  "One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach – waiting for a gift from the sea. ".... Gift from the Sea
  
  
• Trust.... in the part of us that is real, that does know.
  
  Frank Capra (before he became well know) felt that his inner spirit wasn’t able to be expressed and was in doubt about how to do it.  His friend Max Winslow advised him, "There's something in your peasant soul hurting to get out.  Let it out.  Not as preachment you fool, but as entertainment." 
  
  When we invite our real Self into our life, it will find a way to express itself.  You don't have to manage it.  Just let it have a place at the table and it will be an impeccable guest.
  
  What our judgements hide is the awareness that life delights to lift us free of our fearful self-perceptions.  And not on some imagined perfect day but right now, right here in the messy mundane-ness of an 'ordinary' day.  In the midst of wining kids, a partner who doesn't really understand us, a sick body, unanswered emails, and a long list of things we'd like to do......  we can stop!  Then stand still before them all, and find the honesty within to admit that we don't really know what all this, nor the rest of life, is for.
  
  Then invite Love to teach us.  You don't have to develop this Love, it is already developed.  You just have to give it welcome and space to grow in you, fill you with what is best for you.  And if you do it will judge all things in a new light for you, it will nourish you, guide you, inspire you, heal your troubled mind, and provide the love and power to transform all obstacles for you.
  
  But of course, we have to choose to trust it first.
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We think of Love (I'm talking about the real deal here, not that that changes) as an emotion.  But actually it's an awareness, a way of seeing without the layer of preconception that the mind imposes.  And when you change the way you look at things like this, the things you look at change.  But this shouldn't be a mystery to us -- it is simply the power of our choice. 

We already have this ability to choose peace and allow it be so... in any situation.  We can refuse to be dismayed by effects and choose a different cause instead.  We can receive instead of plan so that we can give instead of control.  And in choosing this we discover that the law of Love negates all the laws[3] we've come to believe in this world.

This is how we change the world -- not by attempting to carve out a haven of safety or by riling against perceived injustices, but by bringing Love to it instead of fear.  We are healed as we let our Self teach us how to heal... and the world, as a part of us, is healed as we are. 

This, to me, is the greatest joy of all.  I hope you too keep choosing peace this New Year, so everyone can witness that it's the only sane choice there is.

I wish you a wonderful Christmas and a New Year full of miracles.
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Notes:

[1].. There are many moments in a day when our Self peaks through and we see it's joy reflected back to is in the world.  In fact, it is constantly knocking on the door of our conscious awareness trying to get our attention.  This is just the nature of life --  what our defences hide.  These moments are mostly overlooked as we move through our day driven by the idea of something better (for some the ultimate experience of 'enlightenment' ;)).  In our search for the extraordinary, we dismiss the ordinary and miss everything.

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.
.....................Leonard Cohen

[2].. because it is the only 'time' that is real.  Both the past and future are mental constructs -- we remember and we imagine.  The 'future' is simply a projection of our stories from our past (the next chapter, if you like), and so no different from it.  A good question to ask ourselves, one that can slow this crazy hamster wheel call time enough for us to step off, is:  Who would I be without my beliefs and my stories?

[3].. of space and time, reciprocity and friendship, economics and scarcity, justice and karma, health and nutrition.... too many to mention.

Credits:

• Ms Max for the Peanuts cartoon and for dropping wonderful presents into my inbox all year long. 
• Dave Pollard, whose blog  inspired the title and idea for this post.
• To all of you who refuse to play victim to the fearful perception of a broken world... and have the courage to look past it to the Love beyond:  Thank you so much.

Related Article:  The wisdom to Know Nothing

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The joy of leaching*

Words are abstractions -- pointers to things.  And of course, abstractions are very useful.  They are mental shortcuts to common understandings, so we don't have to reinvent the wheel each time we communicate.  Most of what we are taught is through words and concepts -- this world of abstractions.  It's just seems much easier that way.  The problem is that we have a tendency to forget that abstractions are at least one step away from reality itself.

Abstractions are also how we attempt to make sense of a world that (we believe) would be overly complex without them.  But is that really true?  Isn't it the abstractions themselves that have grown more and more complex as we try to include all the little bits that don't fit our old ones, and as we wrestle with the edge cases that some how refuse to fit existing mental models ?

The problem is that our abstractions are now so familiar to us, and we have grown so dependant on them, that that is all we really see.  We loose site of the underlying reality and mistake the abstracted world for truth.  The world we see through our mental frames has become so comfortable and unquestioned that we forget it is a world within our minds.  It  appears  real and joyless because we have so little recall of what it is like to experience life just as it is, unfiltered.

But there is another way to learn.  One that doesn't take the comfortable, familiar paths that abstractions provide, but is focused on experiencing what is in front of us right now.  It's not a mental exercise but an exploration and discovery  -- an  un-learning of what we hold as true, in order to experience reality as it is... sans  abstractions.

Words are useful here too, but now more as markers than abstractions.  We can use them as stakes in the ground to peg insights and flashes of inspiration so reason can fill the gaps in later.  They help us to identify a shared meaning, and mark our exploratory paths.

There's an incredible power in two or more coming together to discover truths first hand.  But this requires letting go of our old concepts of what a teacher and learner is (of one who walks a step in front and another a step behind)  in favour of truly collaborative venture. 

Strange isn't it, there's over 200,000 words in the English language and yet we don't seem to have a word for learning and teaching at the same time.  I think it would be good if we did.  :)

Any ideas? 

* actually 'leach', as a mash-up of the verbs 'learn' and 'teach',  perhaps wouldn't be too far away form what we are after.  I mean leach in the sense of extracting the essence from that which appears course and complex... filtering the truth from the soup of opinions and perceptions.

Bonus:  Here's a wonderful essay called  'A Mathematician's Lament'  written by Paul Lockhart, an assistant professor at Brown Brown who left to teach  a mathematician's point of view to very young children.  In his own words, "I want them to understand that there is a playground in their minds and that that is where mathematics happens."

Note:  The video demonstrates a wonderful immersive and fun learning tool.  What a great way to learn physics!  You may have to click through to watch the video if it doesn't appear in your feedreader.

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What happened at Whole Foods when the checkout computers went down.

I came across this little Christmas story via  Lars Pinds  this morning: 

What happened at Whole Foods when the checkout computers went down: 

There was no storewide announcement of the problem, or its consequence.  Cashiers simply told customers there was a computer glitch, bagged their groceries, wished them a happy holiday and a safe drive, and sent them on their way.

Hall estimated that up to $4,000 in groceries were given away before the computers began working again.

She said Donoghue did not consult headquarters before making his decision and said she has heard no negative feedback from the top brass.

"They just totally trust us to do what is right for our customers," she said.

If this story spreads (as some blog stories do) then someone will probably do the math and work out that the ROI on that $4000 in terms of marketing spend is astronomical.  But in doing so they will have completely missed the point.  Expressions of love are their own reward... they have traction and power  because  they are genuine, spontaneous and without ulterior motive.  If this act had been contrived it would go nowhere.

After reading so much up-yer-bum stuff about redefining marketing for this super connected world of ours, this story is so refreshingly simple (and effective).  Genuine expressions of caring don't follow any business rules or economic logic.  The smallest of gestures can have far greater impact than the grandest plans.  And the more freedom we grant ourselves to give unconditionally, the more our capacity for giving increases.  There really is no cost to anyone.

I know it can be hard for some to resist trying to capture and then teach these things;  but it's only when we try to tie this stuff up neatly into a formula, a policy or as part of some 'great plan' that it all becomes so elusive and ephemeral.

Whole Foods have done something brave and wonderful, but also something really simple.  It is this:  They've given their people the freedom to express their own notion of caring without the fear of unintended consequences.  And then they've got out of the way.  Isn't that all that's needed?
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Related Article:  Strange Math 

Credit:  Painting entitled 'Peaceful Co-existence' by  Art By Wicks

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How to set a team on fire?

One our readers, Phil, posted a comment on an old post, Have no small meetings, last week and asked for thoughts on something he wants to do. Here's the meat of the comment:

One of the things that I've been focusing on is evolving the "meeting" from a one-way dialogue / monologue into a two-way conversation that empowers participants before, during and after the meeting or conference by leveraging tools (social networks, mobile devices etc...)  The idea here is that if you empower your participants by giving them some ownership of the meeting content, format, and outcomes, they will be more engaged and therefore bring more value to the conversation."

The broader question behind the comment is,  'how do you motivate a team of people?  How do people become engaged?  It's a good one isn't it?.. Too interesting to answer as a comment, so l'm posting here instead.

Shared visions

Few professionals would argue with the need for a shared vision.  It's pretty much accepted as good management practice nowadays - the way we try to get people more engaged.  But I'd argue that shared visions are not all they're cracked up to be.  If you think about it, the more diverse a team of people are, the less chance there is of arriving at a common vision.  Diversity and a unified perspective are, to great extent, mutually exclusive.  In anything but a small group, finding common purpose is nigh impossible unless you're going to select a team of me-too automatons.

Why not have a group of people working together in an environment (whether it be a meeting, a workgroup, a conference, a community of practice or a whole enterprise) that embraces different visions and perspectives?  It's a much richer, more fertile field for learning and creativity, and it makes for a much stronger, more versatile and stable team too.  When a team holds on for dear life to one unified perspective who can see anything else?  Who’s left watching the blind side, where most 'risks' (and rewards) reside?

But it sounds a bit risky doesn't it?  Without a shared vision what will bind the group together?  Where does the motivation come from and what moves it all forward?  Wouldn't the team just fall apart with everyone doing there own thing.. going there own way?

Maslow revisited

Abraham Maslow probably did more than any other in helping us to understand human motivation.  As you probably know, one of his insights was that we don't really concern ourselves with higher order needs until our lower order needs are satisfied.  What he didn't mention and to me is more interesting, is that the 'higher up' the pyramid of needs we go, the more the motivators are universal.  The things that move on the surface are very different (become a billionaire, professional recognition, find a perfect soulmate etc). but deep down what moves us is not that different.

Self-actualization, in Maslow’s terms, is the  “intrinsic growth of what is already in the organism, or more accurately, of what the organism is.”  In other words, we all want the opportunity to express our true potential.. to be able to relax and be our Self.. to express our Soul - all the same thing (to me at least).

If this is true then we can put it to good use.  Instead of pursuing the impossible task of getting everyone to commit to a common goal that may or may not happen in the future why not help them find satisfaction right now?  I've found that if people are able to find their own meaning, and know they are valued for who they are and what they bring to the table, then that's all the glue that's needed for a team to gel.  Finding personal meaning trumps shared vision every time.

Just as motivation is a switch that only we can turn on, meaning can never be brought in from outside, only discovered personally.  But what we  can  do is help our people discover their own meaningful role within the project or group.  It's paradoxically, but when you let go of the need for a common goal and help people to find their own thing, there's usually a new found sense of community.

So now there is something good and useful we can do.  We can become team arsonists - experts at helping others find their own spark.

Team arson

I've never been comfortable with the word 'empowerment'.  It speak to me of something manipulative and I've never found that motivation works that way.  I tend to agree with what Henry Miller said,  "The only way in which anyone can lead us is to restore to us the belief in our own guidance."

So what can we do to help build great teams?  A few ideas:

• Know where you are coming from.
  It's probably wise, before stepping up to the leadership plate, to examine our own motivations because 'where we are coming from' speaks far louder than anything we might say or do.  I was reading the  Cool Cat Teacher Blog  some time ago and remember being both surprised and delighted by her open declaration that, "I love my students".  Letting go our own neediness frees us up to be really helpful to our team.  And letting go of our own sense of limitation with regard to what is possible is probably the greatest motivation for others to reach beyond their own comfort zones too.  Taking a little time to gain insight into our own core motivations can work wonders.
  
  From Hennry Miller again, "Example moves the world more than doctrine. The great exemplars are the poets of action."  ...via Tom Asacker
  . 
• Make conversation a first class citizen.
  Conversation is the way we have got things done since Adam and Eve decided to walk out of the Garden of Eden.  The process flow is always the same:
  Ideas ----> Conversation ---- > Agreement ----> Action.
  And this is true on a personal level too - the 'conversation'  being the one that goes on inside our heads to resolve any conflicting ideas/beliefs.  The second step in the sequence, conversation, is the organising principle - where we explore and resolve competing ideas until we reach agreement, which then determines what gets done and how.
  
  But when we look a little closer at the mechanics of this organising principle we see, apart from just sharing information, that there's an interplay of three other basic 'intentions' expressed within our conversations:  issues  we raise, requests  we make and  suggestions  we propose.  If we can make conversation a first class citizen again, and capture this flow of issues, requests and proposals.. then we can self-manage the most complex of tasks and create the most wonderful things without the need for cumbersome, ham-fisted organisational tools. 
  
  Look what happens whenever there's a major crisis and tools fails us.  We use conversation locally to co-create the most fantastic workarounds.  Conversation alone, when we understand and trust the principles, works brilliantly.
  
  And trust is  the grease  that makes this work.  When we give partial ownership of information, it's akin to giving partial trust.  Better to look at our resistance to letting all relevant information be open to discussion.  And rather than a two-way conversation (an 'us' and 'them' dialogue) how about a multi-way conversation (is polilogue a word?)?  I'm no expert in hosting open space type meetings/conferences (but  these  guys  are) but I would have thought this is a perfect fit for some of the new crop of on-line social network tools.
  . 
• Start slow to go quick.
  It's in wandering around, kicking the tires and sharing our frustrations that we come to discover a place we can call our own within a team.. something we can contribute and feel good about.. some role that we can fill (or learn to) that is personally meaningful to us, where we can perhaps stretch those wings and have a crack at flying.
  
  But it require milling around time.. and not just 'time', but time without pressure to get cracking, or produce quick results.  The process of finding meaning is kinda like falling in love.. it's a courtship.. and it just doesn't respond to coercion or being hurried.  Messy isn't it!
  
  The big plus is, if we are willing to play Cupid, you can turn around the most cynical, apathetic and anarchistic person into the groups greatest advocate simply by listening very careful to the answer to a few telling questions.  For example:  "So OK, I hear you.  Perhaps it has been a disaster in the past.  How would you do it differently?"  and then having discovered a challenge that inspires:  "What resources and support would you need to pull this off?"  Use your own words of course - I'm sure you get the drift.
  . 
• Get comfortable with blindness.
  Helping people find their own inspiration can be tricky.  Many times we don't consciously know what we want ourselves, but it comes disguised as a rant.  After all, we never get angry about the things we don't care about.
  
  It's usually when we feel 'safe'  and relax that we get inspired and in touch with our deepest desires.  And what often stands in the way of this relaxation is fear of the unknown.  But here's the dilemma:  The best, most audaciously inspiring projects (or classes, or businesses..) are  walks into the unknown.
  
  So perhaps the most empowering step a group can make is to become comfortable with it's collective blindness.  I know I've said this so many times it's gone past boring, but it's in accepting that we don't know (and not looking to a leader for guidance either) that opens up a space for inspiration to lead the way.  This is where the really juicy stuff is.. in the stuff we don't yet even imagine.
  
  It helps when we realise we don't need to know the path ahead of time, just the next step.  Knowing that we don't yet know is far more important than any road map because it opens us up to all possibilities.  A map is not the territory, it's an abstraction, and when we see that all road maps are inherently flawed and no leader has the gift of foresight, then we all have to take responsibility.
  . 
• Let go of the concept of 'failure'.
  Going out on a limb is messy.  It's all new to us, like learning to walk all over again.  We trip, we fall down, we pick ourselves up and then we do it all over again.  If we've got someone looking over our shoulder ready to snatch back control when we mess up, then we give up trying.  If someone wants to measure progress whilst we are still learning then where's the fun in that?  Keep you goddamn project.
  
  When we stretch further than ever before, sometimes we get a little crazy.  So it helps to create a place of acceptance and refuge.. where everything's OK.  Let everyone see 'failure' or 'mistakes' are just negative labels which less enlightened folk give to experiences.  Let everyone know that all experience can be beneficial.. if we are wise and choose to learn from it.  This we can do if we foster a deep sense of connection and belonging within the group.
  . 
• Use consent rather than consensus as a framework for decision making.
  Many of us talk about Enterprise 2.0 as the democratisation of the workplace.  But seriously, is democracy that good a model?  As far I can see there are two big problems with it.  First, the bigger and the more diverse the group, the longer it takes to get a consensus of opinion.  Secondly, debate has a way of killing the brightest ideas.
  
  So how do you run with brilliant ideas whilst they're dripping hot and wet from the bleeding edge of our collective consciousness and keep the whole thing together at the same time?  Is there a better model than democracy.. one that support inspiration instead of getting in the way?  Here's an idea:  use consent instead of consensus as a basis for making decisions. 
  
  How it can work - two parts:
  1) Let ideas come from anywhere and give people consent to use their own initiative in what to do, in which ideas to pursue.  No permission required, just an openness about what is happening.
  2) Also give everyone the power of veto of any idea they consider bad.  The criteria for an idea being judged bad (and therefore stopped) is that there must be a reasoned and valid argument why.  How do you judge what is a 'reasoned and valid argument'?  Use the democratic system of consensus if necessary.
  
  This way brilliant ideas fly;  we learn and adapt quickly;  emergence happens without being smothered by analysis or killed dead by 'lessor minds'.  And yet we have risk management for free, no-one can game things for their own ends or pursue an idea that is is not in the groups interests.. because just one 'reasoned and valid argument' (from anywhere) can check it.
  . 
• Be mindful of unexpected good stuff.
  This is about staying open and receptive to  what can never be planned.  The really magic stuff that comes out of great groups is the stuff that comes out of the blue.  It's not east to describe but when it comes it sneaks up on us and hits us up the side of the head.. and  we know.  And it's never what we ever imagine.  In fact, it doesn't even come close.
  
  So the brightest visions are the ones that emerge from the community - that are co-created.  But hankering after a 'shared vision' in advance prevents this.  They can do this in three ways:  First, they can kill our pig - becoming a vision of a huge, impossible mountain that we have to climb to get to where we want to be.  They don't start that way of course - at first they're big, inspiring goals.  But when the going gets a little tough, as it invariably does, they move to the dark side.  Secondly, they blinker everyone - with a focus on our goal we often miss all the good stuff that serendipitously comes our way..  and we often turn away from the experiences and  lessons we could do with learning.  Finally, they place a limit on what we is achievable - what starts out as a line drawn in the sand often becomes a wall that we cannot see beyond.
  
  So here's a simpler way:  just be attentive to the good stuff as it emerges.  It usually comes very subtly - as a twinkle in someone's eye as they express an idea that seemed to come from nowhere.. or in a moment of pause after a chance remark that everyone connects with.  These moments are not at all unusual in a team that feels good about itself and not fixated on the future, but we often ride roughshod over them in our eagerness to move on or 'capture' them.  So when they come just give them a little space to breath, a little time to settle and take root.  That's all.
  . 
• Be disruptive.
  Most people think of good leadership as maintaining order and keeping everything running smoothly.  What we are talking about here is the exact opposite.  Instead of being a good 'motivator' you can be a master disrupter - rearranging things to allow us to do what naturally moves us, and getting the other stuff out of the way.  When things start feeling settled we can challenge the status quo.  When someone starts coasting we can talk to them and see if they're ready to move on to something more inspiring.  When people stretch they grow.. and when they grow what lights their fire changes.  It's a constant dance to keep those fires burning.  Get comfortable with disruption and make 'follow your bliss' the guiding principle.
  . 
• Be the keeper of the sacred scrolls.
  Just kidding!.. or maybe not.  It's part of the human condition to forget what is most important to us.  We get stuck in the inertia of those two old, tired ideas - 'work' and 'effort'... and then forget that  the real magic happens when we just enjoy our Selves.  So it can be good to have a reminder of what we have found to be most important.  We are so used to the notion of 'life as competition that we become blind to the simple and easy.. to 'following our bliss'.  It can be good to have someone to keep the faith for us when we forget.
  
  But here again, we need to be clear about our own motivation.  If we come from a perspective of wanting to fix someone then the message that's heard is that they are broken.  This is why seeming good intents are so often resisted and rejected.  But if we come from a perspective of seeing the potential that is already there within, then this is probably the most helpful thing we can do. 

  I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. - Michelangelo

Just a few (anti Dilbert) ideas. If you can thing of others that would help Phil then fire away in the comments.

Credit:  Thanks to my friend and cohort Dave McNally for the inspiration to write this.

Related Article:  Have no small meetings
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