So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from hell,
blue skies from pain?
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?”.. Roger Waters
It's 15 months since I last wrote here. I found myself trying to express the feeling and meaning of what I wanted to say, not just the idea... and losing touch with how to do that. I could easily imagine someone writing in the comments, "So you think you can tell Heaven from hell, blue skies from pain?"
Better, I thought, to shut up until I found my way.
I was told that good writing is mostly rewriting -- "...just write a shitty first draft to start with. Then pare away the inessential as you tidy it up into something presentable." This sounds like good advice, but doesn't feel quite right to me. What's wrong with just saying it how you find it, without correction or second guessing? Noam Chomsky put it like this, "Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it's from Neptune." I know where he was coming from.
But still, there has to be a better way. This video from the good people at the R.S.A. reminds me of this need for something similar, in the context to our present situation:
We are fairly well versed at scientific analysis, critical thinking and logical writing, but how do you communicate in a way that creates a space for something fundamentally new? How do we interact in a way that not just expands our bubble, but can burst it? However you do that, it's a skill I'd like to learn.
One thing I have been learning is that it's only in coming together that we begin to understand just how creative and wise we really are. In holding on to our own space, we eventually wind up pretty stupid and miserable. 
I'm learning that the limitations we see around our creativity and sphere of influence only get lifted as we allow ourselves to meet in the little ‘gap’ that we normally hold between us... as it's only by consciously choosing to accept what our judgments have previously rejected, that we get to witness that the boundaries that create the sense of our being 'a separate part of life' exist solely in our mind.
Our present belief system functions to support our ‘need’ to be separate. We ‘see’ what we want to see, then believe what we ‘see’. Perception is projection, not fact. So the question is, do we want to be right or to be happy? Do we want to see that we are powerful and responsible, or would we rather suffer as ‘a victim’ of Universe we prefer to see apart from us?
I have long resisted taking this on board, having associated defences with strength, and defencelessness with being vulnerable. Yet this does not stand up to testing. The instant we're willing to let go of our own agenda and stand totally defenceless with one another, we naturally respond in a way that is truly helpful to the unknown as it arises. Engaging with life defencelessly and indiscriminately  like this, I trance-end the 'me' that suffers and wake-up to the Self we really are.
The other thing I'm (slowly) learning is how simple this can be.
In fact, it's only difficult to the extent that I confuse wilfulness and willingness. Wilfulness is a determination to do something. Willingness is wilfulness' opposite: an eager compliance.
To illustrate, have you ever watched a monkey carry it's young?
You can see the terror in the young ones eyes when its mother swings from branch to branch high in the trees. They are scared of falling and getting injured. And sometimes they do.
Actually that's not quite true: The cub chooses to relax, do nothing and enjoy the ride. It is happy to go wherever it's mother takes it. It knows it is perfectly safe because it is willing to leave everything to it's mother.
Even when the cub wonders off and gets into difficulties, it only has to call... and it knows it will be safe again. Where there is no fear, it's all fun.
A bit corny eh! But you get the idea. ;)
Agendaless-ness (that isn't a word is it!) is the bridge between these two ways of being. And the way I let go of 'my agenda' is trusting that our real Self knows what is needed for our well being far better than the thinking, rational mind could ever do, in any situation.
But following our inner Guide is about far more than what to do in certain circumstances. It is learning to consistently feel the Presence connecting us to every living thing. To begin to feel the harmony and peace that is inherent in the expression of our Wholeness; to experience a state of mind we have almost forgotten. This is how we communicate on the truest level wherever we direct our attention with this awareness, and this is in no way bounded by our concepts of time and space.
A new beginning
I've come around to seeing that the words are never the problem. When I focus on words I give them an importance they don’t have, and forget that it’s in coming together that things get really interesting. And so this is the new direction for this blog. Whatever words come, can serve that. They are secondary now, and that suits me fine. :)
If anyone still listening here after all these months, thank you for being so patient.
...There are many ancient stories that appear to contradict this and point towards a period of retreat to 'find yourself'. I’m sure that’s good and useful, but ultimately we don’t really get to know what we are capable of, and remember our true nature, until we allow that to be expressed. It’s in returning, rather than retreating, that we discover that 'Joy', 'Self expression' and 'Service', are pretty much all one and the same thing.
... I’ll post about this is some depth, soon.
... I say 'indiscriminately' here because this principle appears to operate in a similar way to the Theory of Constraints. -- I cannot resist one part of this Flow without resisting all of it. When I hold back from one person I hold back from everyone. Maybe it's because this Flow knows no part as separate from itself. :) If this is true, then the unavoidable conclusion is that those that are most helpful to our growth and Self realisation are the ones we think of and meet who we are most willing to disengage from.